This is not a post about the problematic trope in boys love or girls love. This is not about sexual harassment in anime taken seriously either; as an example groping on a train or name calling at the office. This is not about sexual harassment in hentai.
You all know how I feel about the rape trope in yaoi/boys love. I get very personal as to why that is and I am gonna get personal in this post too. Because this is a personal and very real matter, not only to me but to many females in this world.
There is one thing I loathe when it comes to certain types of anime; the boob grab. I know, some [many] of you think I am silly or even absurd to have such an abhorrence for such an innocent act. There is one huge problem though; there is nothing innocent about the boob grab. Not in the context of which anime you can find it.
As I said, I have no problem with hentai, where boob grab is mandatory too. It’s just a part of the game, you are supposed to get a boner from watching a hentai. Hentai is for grown ups, just like porn is. I’m not out to shame anyone who likes the boob grab but I need to address it with my experience and in my own words. Write down my thoughts on it.
I’m not talking about Melodias being an absolute asshole molesting Elisabeth in The Seven Deadly Sin’s here, I am talking about anime with cute girls doing adorable things. Anime kids, especially girls, would love to watch and be able to identify with.
I was probably around 12 or 13 when I realised the first time that my body, and especially my breasts, didn’t belong to me. I was with my family at a gathering with another family whom we had spent years and years with, ever since I and my 2 years older brother were born. At one point I reached over the table and until that moment I had never thought about how I came across in someone’s eyes but the dad in that family, around 50 or so, loudly chuckled; Our kids are getting old now. And then he gazed at my breasts and brushed them with his [left] hand. His excuse: He was taking something from the table too. He is in no way a pervert otherwise and I don’t know what possessed him to do that, that night. It was probably the booze, the adults had had plenty of beer and wine. It never happened again because I wouldn’t go near him. I don’t think it would either way but I was a cautious child.
I teach my kid everyday that her body is her own and that no one is allowed to touch it unless she says so. She’s ten. I’ve hammered that message into her since she was old enough to understand human language. I live in a liberal country where sex is okey to talk about, she knows that a boob grab is not okey. She doesn’t, by her own choice, watch that type of shows because she doesn’t understand how someone can disrespect another persons body like that.
Because in the end, the only thing a boob grab does is to teach children that it’s okey to disrespect a girls body and it gives a dude a boner. I might generalize but tell me, where in that particular action lies the cuteness? It is nothing more than harassment. Even a 10 year old understands that. Mine at least, but not all. Many will think that it is okey. I could have been one of them, my parents didn’t freely talk about sex and owning ones body.
I belong to #metoo. Not only because of my history with my ex boyfriend as you can read about in the post linked above. No, because I have encountered numerous guys who has taken the liberty to touch my body in places and ways I wasn’t comfortable with. And I didn’t have a voice to say no. To tell them off. And in hindsight, it would probably not have made a difference because they learned from an early age via cartoons and movies, and tv that it is okey to decide over another human beings body.
What makes the boob grab in anime much worse is the fact that girls do it on girls. No, I don’t like anyone touching my breasts unless I say so and I don’t know anyone who does. Any girl knows it so the betrayal gets even bigger if a girl gropes another girl. I know what you are gonna say; it’s just fiction and affects no living person. But, that’s just it, it does. The anime community is very fastidious when it comes to telling people that anime is a real medium, for both children and adults. Well, take responsibility as adults then for the impact anime has. Children are watching this type of anime. Children are affected by this type of anime. Grabbing someone’s boobs are just as bad as if someone was to grab a dude’s dick randomly. You don’t see many, if any, anime with a dick grab.
I might sound stuck up and swaying up in the air on my high horses here but, it is still a fact; the boob grab is a horrible thing. You can’t compare it to much else in the anime world. Why? Because it is taken so lightly. Viewers laugh about it, they get turned on by it and find it cute. To watch something so real and see it as light and hearty entertainment is in my world not okey. But I might be biased because I have been in the real world situation of being sexually harassed. A world where women and girls doesn’t own their own bodies. A world where an anime or cartoon only increases the notion that it is okey to touch another persons body that way.
Thank you for reading.