I Love You, I Hate You And It Pains Me So – Lament Of The Lamb

I will never watch the anime. I can’t possibly see how anyone can adapt Lament of the Lamb by Kei Toume the proper way and capture the sentiment of this manga. A manga so filled with love, despair, angst, tragedy, death, secrets, feelings you didn’t even realised existed inside a human being. You can’t possibly translate all those emotions and still keep that slightly disturbing feeling. So, I will never watch the anime. Not even if they do a proper remake of it, since I am well aware that the OVA that now exist is shit and no one should really watch it anyway, be it have you read the manga or not.

Lament of the Lamb. It’s a spectacular manga. I hated it so much. Each volume creeped me out and I just wanted to rip the pages out, scream to the protagonist that he was being fooled. That he was lead by the leash and lured into a trap by his own sister. I disliked, no hated (which is a really strong word in my life) the sister so much I just wished her gone. She was manipulating, mean, egotistical. But I also loved it so much. I couldn’t put it down, I just had to keep reading. I turned the next page because I needed to know what was happening. Would the brother realise? Would the sister understand?

I might sound cryptical but isn’t that how a review is supposed to be? Well, I’m not good with reviews so here comes spoilers. Sorry, but maybe this is more a post for me to process what I have just read and not so much a review to sell the manga to you.

Chizuna and Kazuna are siblings. When they were little their parents separated them and sent Kazuna away to their father’s close friends while Chizuna stayed with their parents. All this because Chizuna and their mother suffered from an extremely rare disease where you crave human blood. Kazuna, who is a boy (boys rarely, if ever gets the disease), was thought to not have the illness and their parents wanted him to have a normal life so off he went while Chizuna was trapped in a house with a bat shit crazy mother and a father so deeply in love with his wife he willingly let her feed off of him.

Life happens, the mother dies and father finds himself alone with his seven year old daughter.

Creepy kid just ate a cat.

This manga deals with a lot of heavy subjects; death, mental illness, incest among other things.

Through out the manga there is an underlying understanding of an incestuous relationship between father and daughter. When the siblings mother died their father immediately replaces her with Chizuna. Chinzuna is brought up with the belief that she has to hide and live a quite life protected from the outside world in order to survive and not harm anyone so she is stuck in a twisted life with her father. She accepts her fate as the replacement and when her father dies her whole life crumbles.

It’s easy to say that you can look past the incest theme in the manga but really, you can’t and you shouldn’t. It is a vital part of the interactions between the  brother and the sister, and why things turn out the way they do. When Chizuna meets Kazuna for the first time she only sees her father in him and her only thought is that she has finally found a replacement. And she acts accordingly. She manipulates him into believing things that are half truths. All to get her father back. She is evil. No, not evil, she is probably extremely human because she wants to free herself from her father but she can’t. All she knows is how to be “daddy’s girl” as she herself says many time. Still, this goes on and on through out the manga, all while Kazuna tries to overcome his feelings and anxiety when he discovers that he too is sick. She tricks him into believing that she is the only one who can help him survive and he falls for all her arguments. It frustrating to read. It makes you angry. Sad. Annoyed. I have never had so many feelings running through my mind while I was reading a manga before.

Before all the madness began. Oh how I love this girl.

There are of course other characters as well but they aren’t many and that is actually a relief. You don’t have to think too much about who said what before, it is all very clear what has happened before. The story is moving slowly and is built more or less only on dialogue. That’s not to say that it is boring because something is happening continuously. You want to keep reading. I am glad I have all seven volumes so I could just binge them in one sitting because it would have driven me mad to not know how this ended.

Ah, the end yes. It could have ended in a various of ways and in my opinions this might not have been the best way to deal with it. It’s not a bad end in any way it’s just… meh, I guess. I wanted something with a little more impact. There was impact, just not at the end chapter. And I wished for some of the characters a more satisfying end. I am not saying happy here because that’s not true. Satisfying is a better word. Anyway, the end is not bad at all, it’s just an end.

What can I say? Read it. It’s so good. It leaves you with an uncomfortable feeling. You will feel anxious while you read it and you are most likely gonna get frustrated, maybe even angry. There isn’t really anything happy about it, most of the manga is just filled with darkness and despair. It’s not a feel good manga and it’s really hard to find any light in it but it doesn’t matter because it is so very well written. The art might not be breathtaking but each chapter begins with an amazing drawing that’s absolutely stunning. Just, read it.

9 thoughts on “I Love You, I Hate You And It Pains Me So – Lament Of The Lamb

  1. Well…as always you are very convincing in making people want to check something out, so…this one is no different. I am currently in volume 5 of Monster (the manga) and am finally making progress in reading those. As you know I don’t read a lot of manga, am watching more anime…but…I do know that I always add things that sound interesting. This one really does. It apperently goes down a very dark road though…wow. But well: you keep saying just read it..so I’m adding it to the to read list 😊😊

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I have been pondering about Monster, wether to read or watch it. Can’t decide but something tells me that I get more out of it if I read it. I wonder if I can find it to read legally online. 🤔 I love to buy manga but owning just first volumes of stuff is annoying. I have a few of those and it doesn’t look good on my shelves. Yeah, I’m shallow like that.

      It’s dark yes but also…well dark. You can’t find much light in it. But it is so worth it.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I you want my advice? I would say go for the manga. I have seen about 25 episodes of the anime (and then life interfered and I didn’t get back to it), but the manga is much more intense (that’s not to say the anime wasn’t…it was, but well the manga is just way better).
        Lol…and no you are not shallow at all (unless I am as well…because I don’t like that either) I’m a completionist, and when I buy something I want everything there is from it..not just a single volume.
        As for this one…I don’t mind dark at all. Somehow I just always like those more than light stories. But yes this one has been put on the way too long to read list 😂😂).

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I just bought the first 11 volumes of Ajin (there was a sale at BookWalker so they were like 3 euros or so each) but after that I might go look for Monster. How many volumes are there? It feels like there is loads of them.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow…. Just… Wow. I feel like I need to read this manga, but at the same time just reading it made me want to rip my hair out and run screaming into the night… Hm. Debacle. 🤔 I definitely agree with you though, even looking at that art style I don’t see how this could translate properly to an anime…

    Liked by 1 person

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