It is such a grand title for a post about me rambling about what my blog is about to become and in a certain amount has been this summer. Nonetheless, this is what it is.
I can of course not say for sure what this little corner of the blogosphere will become because as you all know, my mental health is steering many of my decisions in life. But I have aspirations and I have dreams. I want it to be certain things and I want it to be it to be that in a certain amount each month, or perhaps even week.
I have things I want to write about. Anime obviously. This whole blog started out as a place for me to sort through my anime in a list sort of fashion. I was supposed to make some lists and that would be it. All in the name of me keeping check on what I had seen, what I wanted to watch, genres and all else you can do a list of. You who have followed me from the start know that that never happened. Well, shit happens and if I might say so, it turned out better. I’m bad at doing lists.
Anime yes, I want to write about anime. It will be my main subject as before. Something I want to write about but haven’t really had the courage to do is manga. I want to tell the world about all the amazing manga I have read but then I have to write reviews and I am not good at that. When it comes to manga it is even harder than with anime. I am afraid to fuck up. What if I misunderstood something? Or forgot something? And who am I to really tell the world that something is good? Or bad? Most of what I read is amazing and I’m just gonna talk about things I find amazing anyway. So yeah, I want to but do I dare, is the real question. So maybe there will only be more manga hauls to come in the future. Those will never stop, I assure you of that. I have already bought more manga since the last post.
Mental health. My brain is messed up, another thing most of you know about me. I’m bipolar, I have anxiety and my memory has deteriorated noticeable as a side effect of one of my medicines. My memory is a huge obstacle in my desire to write reviews just because I can’t clearly always remember what happens. Especially in a manga with say 10 volumes. Anyway, I will write about my mental health. There is no escape from that. I need to write about mental shit, for me and for others in my position. We talk too little about mental illnesses. It’s not good enough to talk about only depressions. It’s not good enough to hear all the success stories out there, the stories about how you can heal yourself with carrots and yoga. Some of us need a doctor and medicine too. Not that carrots are bad for you, they just aren’t enough for people like me. And others out there are in the same situation and they need to know that they are not alone.
Well, I have some unfinished project I have to finish. It’s first and foremost my hot boys challenge. I believe Arthi, Mel and Aria are done with it now so I can take it easy and do it in my own pace. I’m gonna try and do one post a week but I can’t promise anything. I have some tags I want to do; Three quotes a day and the real harem Merlin’s Musings tagged me in. There are some awards from way back in January or something like that that is long overdue. I have a bad conscious about that but I will do it.
Fan fiction and fiction; yeah, I do write that sometimes. It’s been a while but I have actually started a new one now. Not sure when it will be done or even if, time will have to tell. But it is kind of nice to have something else to do. Meanwhile, I am thinking about uploading stuff I have written here on the blog. Make a subpage. I have some stuff on AO3 and one non fan fiction (well, it was ff from the beginning but I remade it) on Wattpad. It could be nice to gather it all. So yeah, that’s how I think. Maybe.
Oh dear, this became a long post about what I might do. Anyway, my absence this summer has been two parts damaged brain and one part having the family home from school and work. Yeah, I haven’t had one day alone or even one hour. I can’t do stuff if I am not alone. I have a hard time to write if I know I can be disturbed anytime. And someone always comes with some irrelevant information or want help with something they can do themselves, or someone just passes by. It disturbs my concentration and I just give up. I used to sit up at night but I have a doctor who forbids me from doing that so yeah, summer time is no good time. Anyway, school starts in two weeks, husband’s vacation is over at the same time and I will finally have the days to myself. I can watch anime, read manga and write as much as I want.
Man, this ramble must end. I’m done here. All I want you to know is that I will be back, eventually in a greater capacity than now. I hope you are still here then.