Gaming – People’s Reactions And Actions

Before I begin this post I want to tell you that I have read all your comments. You are all such amazing people and I appreciate your solicitude. It means a lot more than you can imagine. Thank you. ❤️ I am still not in a very good place and this is just a guest appearance if you will. Something I need to get off my chest.

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A month or so ago we got a message from our kids school. A message among others we assumed. We have a 12 y/o who gets in trouble a lot because of the “friends” he hangs with. So, we thought it was just a regular message about some incident that had occurred among their group of boys. It wasn’t. It was something more bothersome and serious than what my kid and his friends are up to. They are typical 12 y/o messing around, pinching and hitting each other just to annoy each other and then it gets out of hand. This was something else. Something really serious. And it had nothing to do with the older kids.

‘We [the school] would like to inform all the legal guardians of the students at x school that there has been a serious incident in the lower classes and one student has been brought to the hospital. The incident is connected to the students in question playing a video game called GTA.’

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That’s all we got to know. It’s hard to know if the school exaggerates when they write a thing like this. They aren’t exactly explaining anything. Not what happened, what injuries the kid got and how it all began. I am by nature suspicious and when it comes to gaming even more so, so I take messages like these rather lightly I must admit. Especially since we [the 12 y/o’s parents] had a lecture about tweens and internet not that long ago and they showed us a short video of the worst scene from GTA V they could find on YouTube, and were horrified of the fact that you could kill a whore in the game and then that someone had put it on YouTube. I wanted to ask how come none of the them hadn’t reported it if they thought it was so bad but yeah, I have learned to keep my mouth shut. Anyway, I was skeptical and assumed it wasn’t as bad as they made out it to be. I am never gonna assume anything again.

The other day I talked to a mom of a girl in the class and then I got the whole story. A bunch of boys, age 6-8, had come up with a game where they choose one boy and the other boys get to hit that boy as much and hard as they can. The next day they change to another boy. It’s a game. The idea one (or more, she wasn’t sure) of them has gotten from playing GTA V. The incident we get to hear about in that message is about a boy getting choked to the point where he faints and fall and hits his head so bad he gets a deep cut in the back of his head that starts to bleed heavily. There have of course been other serious incidents before but the school has kept silent about it. Yeah, I didn’t have much faith in the school before but now… And then the mom tells me that it took the school two weeks to call social services and the police, which is policy when things like this happen and that after the parents had pressured them. That didn’t make my trust in the school any better. But that is a whole other subject.

Where am I going with this? I bet you think I am gonna blame the gaming industry for what happened with those little boys. Nah, that wouldn’t be reasonable. As I said, I am a parent of two kids. They are 10 and 12. They have both played GTA V. I know, I am that kind of mom. I don’t know what kind of parents that kid who came up with the game they played are but somewhere the information didn’t quite reached the little boy about how games work and how you shouldn’t imitate games in real life. I or the daddy in this house play with the kids. Or at least we know what they play. We also know our kids well enough to know that they understand what consequences violence have in real life. They knew that a long time ago, when they were just little kids in kindergarten. So, it bothers me that an 8 y/o doesn’t understand when he is taking it too far. Why does a child strangle another child so he finally faints? You can’t blame a game for that. Even if he got the idea for the game from GTA V he should have that line he wouldn’t cross. But he didn’t.

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It’s been so much talk about Doki Doki Literature Club lately. Well, I’ve been off the grid for a little while so it has surely quit down by now but still, it was a lot of fuzz around the game a while back. That made me think too. Violent games can surely be triggering to do violent acts. I know a lot of gamers are screaming out loud at the mere mention that games and real life violence would have anything to do with each other. What I mean is that if you already have the violence in you and already have the urge or need, or have planned but am too weak or coward to do it, playing a game like GTA V could trigger and encourage you to go ahead and make truth to your plans and urges. Is it really so far fetched? Just like DDLC am the perfect trigger for someone who is already suicidal to go ahead and take their own life. When you are suicidal you are grasping for straws to find something to help you take that step. Most people who are planning on taking their lives need to find courage to do so and seeing a picture of a woman who has hung herself is triggering. Or reading about an idol taking their life, especially when the media specifies how said idol has chosen to end it.

I understand the need to defend the gaming industry but maybe one should look further and actually see the dark side too. Some people get violent by playing video games, some people decide to end their lives when they play video games and 8 y/o boys come up with games that sends their unconscious classmate to the hospital in an ambulance.

N.B. I don’t necessarily think it as great idea to let an 8 y/o play GTA V, especially not unattended and alone. I have no idea how this boy above is playing it and with who, and i don’t want to speculate about what kind of parents he has, and I ask that you refrain from doing the same in the comments should you comment on it. As for my children who also play; the 10 y/o is only interested in dressing up her character and change hair styles, and then she drives around and occasionally hits people with the car. The 12 y/o likes to shoot people and does races. None of them have played story mode and will not do that until they get older, if they are still interested. The youngest is more into sims now anyway. The oldest is into, well, who knows, he has a million games he plays but probably Battlefield or something like that. He loves war games. And if he by chance would become a mass murdering homicidal maniac then I’m sorry, but I take my hands off it and blame it all on the video games. 😎

28 thoughts on “Gaming – People’s Reactions And Actions

  1. I agree that younger kids probably shouldn’t be playing GTA but adults are extremely quick to blame video games for the actions of children. It annoys me a lot tbg

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s interesting that you say that because gamers are extremely quick with blaming parents when incidents like the one with the guy who took his own life after playing DDLC and his dad turned to the press to warn about the game. The thing is, I don’t understand the enormous need among gamers to defend the games they play. They know they aren’t affected by them but that guy might have been. What is there to argue about? For as long as anyone can remember there has always been something that has been dangerous to our kids. Back in the 60s Beatles was lethal. Imagine that. Thank God internet wasn’t a thing then. What I am trying to say is that there is no right or wrong in this, it is more complex than people want to think it is. It has become a huge blame game from both sides. Instead of looking at the fact that yes, games can trigger certain behaviours but should we forbid them just because one kid has killed himself because of a game? I might have been through too many of these media hunts for the evil pop culture to be surprised, something the young gamer community hasn’t. When you are as old as I am you’ll understand that it isn’t much to scream about and get annoyed about. As for the parent; he is just mourning and trying to find some explanation as to why his kid suddenly killed himself. He needs something to blame. Or the mom to a mass shooter; why did her kid turn out that way? They all need some rationality in the gruesome, horrible act their precious child has just committed.

      Okey, this became a long post…

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  2. Thank you for sharing your reflections and experience. Sounds like a solid middle ground between “games are a major bad influence” and “games never are a bad influence”.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. First off: It’s great to see a post from you again: I have missed you 😊 Second: It’s great to see a post from you again: I have missed you ..a lot 😊 Third…okay that’s enough 😂😂
    I agree with what you wrote here: of course there is a dark side to the gaming industry, but so is there to movie industry, internet, novels etc.
    In other words; there is a dark side to pretty much everything if you think about it. People who are more susceptible to things like that are only likely to get hit by this even more. That ‘s why I think developers in general should think more about which games they are making. It’s a double edged sword. Wonderful post as always; one that makes you think 😉
    Ps: your care package will be sent to you this week: some things happened which caused me not to get to this sooner. Keep your eyes on your email for a track and trace code this week 😉
    Ps2: take care okay? I know I sound totally overprotective again: but hey I mean well 😀😀 Bye for now 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you. I will take care. Going away with the extended family on Thursday so that’s gonna be fun… I think. Anyway, it’s okay with the package, don’t worry and don’t hurry.

      Yeah, the media is filled with darkness, I agree. We old folks have all been through the video violence debate, Marilyn Manson, Death Metal debacle and even techno was once the devils work. It comes back like a wrecking ball, no matter how much you protests there will always be something that destroys our kids. It’ll blow over, it always does.

      I don’t believe the game devs should have to restrict themselves though. I think that as long as you don’t do anything illegal you should be able to do whatever you want to do. As long as you inform your buyers of the contents of the games and have proper warnings just go ahead and make baby eating monster games.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. That is very good to hear, I hope you are going to have a nice trip. As for the package: I do worry….and that is why I am going to hurry (lol) No…some crappy things happened at work the past two weeks…which caused me to work longer than expected and running out of way too much time. But now finally this week things seem back to normal, so the package is coming to you this week 😀
        Yeah….I guess, that’s true as well: freedom of speech and all that. Still..sometimes I do wonder what the point of certain especially sick games really is. But I guess we will never find out the real answer to that.
        Well…just wanted to say…it was nice seeing you here again ❤️

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  4. This is really sad to hear about. GTA is a huge best selling game and compared to the number of sales, cases like this are still very small. I guess this is why age ratings exist, though I do hate stopping people playing games for that reason. I’d say your attitude of talking to them about it first is the way to go.

    It’s happened to me where trying to convince your parents that you can get a game rated 7 when you’re 6 or a game rated 13 when you’re 12 is the most stupid thing. It gets to a point where it doesn’t even matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It would be interesting to know how many kids actually acts out what they play at home. It is a way to deal with that they see when they can’t talk about it with their parents. I bet there are way more incidents than this one than we know. When I was little we played V and Star Wars, and just war. That’s what we saw on TV. But yeah, ban games because of incidents like this isn’t the way to go. I think it is way better to get the parents to understand how important it is to know what their kids play and talk to them about it. There will always be parents who doesn’t care though and there will always be kids who doesn’t understand/care either. My kid has a friend like that. He is completely empty in his brain. Totally lost case. Even his parents have given up on him.

      I can admit that I don’t look at the age rating when I buy games. We normally check up on the game beforehand. Well, now we trust the eldest, he knows what to play. He is rather simple minded in his taste. The little one is mostly about sims and roblox, and minecraft. But yeah, I can see how it is annoying when you are just one year from the age and you can’t get the game because of the rating. It’s kind of stupid because it would be better if the parent just took some time and did some research on the game and figured out if it was a suitable game for their kid or not. There are after all games that are rated +3 that doesn’t fit a 3 y/o.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s really sad to hear about, extremes do exist, I guess we just have to hope that the good will of the majority can help the exception.

        That’s true actually, I don’t even know if 3 y/o should play video games. I don’t remember when I got my first games but I was probably older than 3. Maybe it’s fine but when I hear 3 year old I can’t think of them doing anything other than crawling and playing with toys. I don’t know though, I’m not sure about what age people do different things.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. There is a lot of 3 y/o playing games on iPads nowadays. I am not really sure what to think about it to be honest. My kids have always been playing because both me and my husband play games, both on the ps4 (well and 2 and 3) and the computer. It comes natural in our family. The 12 y/o has built his own computer. He was 5 when he played his first video game, some car racing game. But it is more like a play than anything then when they are that little. Crash into cars and such. I don’t know. I think the most important part is that they are stimulated in more ways than just games. Go out and play, climb trees and feed the ducks. Those kind of things.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. That’s true, I think most apps are ok as long as they don’t get annoyed at them. It’s cool that you have a ps4, I want Monster hunter on it but can’t justify getting it for that one game.

        That’s amazing how he built his own computer, the only time I know that my friends did that is very recently and they play in pro pvp leagues. I question whether he needed that because my laptop is like 5 years old and works fine but it doesn’t matter so much, building it is a lot cheaper so it’s a good way to get an overpowered pc with low cost.

        Sure you’ve got to have a balance. Do you have problems getting them to stop playing? I know I would play as long as possible when I was young.

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      4. Yes, most apps are okey I think. Our kids can’t buy apps unless we approve the app first. We get a message when they want to buy and have to approve it with our account before they get the app. I think that’s good, that way we know what they play. Even the free ones we get to approve. Not that I have ever not approved an app but someday they might want something inappropriate.

        Yeah, buy a ps4 for only one game, that one hell of an expensive game. 😎 I am a huge fan of Ratchet and Clank and there wasn’t much choice but to buy a ps4 when they started to release the games for the 4.

        It is cheaper. Well, depending on what you put in that damn thing. My husband built his then computer (he’s got a MacBook Air now) because it was cheaper but my 12 y/o has now decided that he wants water cooling and a new graphic card, and some other stuff. His hobby is getting a little bit more expensive. But I rather he does stuff like this than run around down town making trouble. He plays a lot but so far we don’t have any trouble getting him to quit when we want him to. The 10 y/o is worse with her ipad but it’s not so bad either. I have only one rule and that is that they have to do their homework. Other than that I’m fine with them playing. They learn a lot from it. Their English for example is top notch, way better than mine. They can both keep a conversation up without a problem for example. And much information is in English and they understand it well. My 10 y/o has even learned a little Spanish by watching YT and Japanese by playing some Japanese game on her iPad. So yeah, there are absolutely positive things with gaming and screen time. And before you ask, they like to play outside as well. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yeah it’s good that you can check that. I guess you’ve turned in app purchases off as well. I’ve found that they don’t make the game more enjoyable and in fact are ridiculously overpriced for the stuff you get from them.

        No I wasn’t going to ask that! IDK I just guessed they did from earlier.

        TBH people will want to upgrade regular purchased computers as well. It’s probably that the graphics card is new and improved or something. Even though I did computer science A level I really don’t care for hardware and things like that because it’s overpriced and my current stuff works fine. That homework thing is a good idea, I either didn’t get much homework or was just able to do it really quickly so it isn’t brilliant if theirs not a lot of hw.

        It’s cool to learn languages online. I would like to learn Japanese (for the obvious reason) and I have done a bit of memrise and stuff but was never able to keep up with it. I know some words, Higrigana, katakana, what some kanji mean and I can sort of follow along with RAW’s (Anime before they put the subs on). One day I think I should just study it from waking up to going to sleep, then I’d be way more likely to carry on the next day.

        Liked by 1 person

      6. It’s the same with in-app, we get a message if they want to buy something. It is very rare that we let them buy in-app stuff.

        Haha, yeah but it is a very common question when people hear how much our kids get to play on their devices. People tend to believe that just because you game a lot you don’t get out and play at all. As if the one thing negates the other.

        I have tried to learn Japanese too but I don’t have a very good memory because of a medicine I take so I forget a lot. Words I can sometimes remember but the writing is almost impossible. I used Duolingo when I was at it and it is a very good app I think. I wish I could learn to read Japanese, it would be great to be able to read manga in Japanese.

        Liked by 1 person

      7. yeah true.

        Reading it is only half the work though because then you’ve got to understand it! I know hiragana and katakana so I could read it if the kanji had furigana, but I’ve not got anymanga with furigana so it’s sort of meaningless. It also doesn’t help that there are no space marks in Japanese between words so they’re hard to separate.

        Liked by 1 person

      8. True, it’s a start though and I guess the idea is to learn words while reading. You could keep on going back to those sentences to see if you can still understand what they say and that way you will have remembered it! I guess keep going like that!

        I know that a manga with furigana is a good idea though since it’s way easier!

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  5. I think we get inspiration from so many things. Games, movies, books. I think in the end it is up to us to decide if something is right or wrong and we can’t blame the inspiration. Yeah, kids need to have more guidance but I don’t have kids so I can’t speak as a parent and I can’t pretend to know what to show kids and what not to show them lol.
    I think I’m trying to get at is that we always have the capacity to recognize if something is bad (unless we are sociopaths?) and we are the ones who make the choices.
    Shoot I don’t even know if I made sense. But I remember that my parents didn’t let me read Harry Potter since it would teach me magic. All I could say was, “Um I’m mature enough to understand that if I say aloamora that a door won’t unlock” lol.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. 😂 Parents. Well, they aren’t alone. Wasn’t there some school that forbid the books and someone even burnt them like they were the devils work? seriously, how can some fantasy books be that bad? I don’t get it, it’s fiction.

      You are right, kids should have guidance but it is hard to know about everything the see and hear. We try the best we can but take YT for example. All the information out there, it’s next to never ending. Kids are experts to dig up things you didn’t even know exist. And YT aren’t all that willing to take down some things. You can easily find videos where people are being beheaded. Just as an example. In this case, with the boy, we don’t know how he has consumed the game. He might as well have seen gameplay on YT. There is plenty of it and the gamers aren’t too keen on age restrict their videos because then the video gets demonetized and they can’t earn money on it. So, even if you have a filter on the account your kid can watch it. Or, he might have just been sitting by himself and played the game. Or he has seen his brother or dad play it. No one but his family and he knows. But I don’t think it matters because what is really scary is the fact that he went so far to hit and choke a boy so much that he got unconscious. No kid who are alright would do that and I am convinced that the games doesn’t have anything to do with it. He would have done it anyway. You can blame GTA for him making up the game but seriously, that is a game he could have come up with anyway. In another context. When I was seven i was pushed down on a bench at school, after school so we were alone, and my classmate, also seven, straddled me and then he choked me. There was no video games back then. I still have no idea why he did it. I doubt he remembers it. He stopped when I stopped to struggle to get away. We were seven. I never told my parents, he never told his (obviously). If I had I don’t think they would blame any pop cultural media at all. They would most likely go talk to the boys parents and take it from there.

      I understand, even if a absolutely not agree, why people blame games and other media, when something horrible happens. The human being needs to understand, needs to know why and if they can’t find the reason they grasp straws. There must be something. Instead of looking inwards, because they can’t possibly have done something wrong (and sometimes they haven’t, it just happened anyway), they blame something they find logical; violent games. Of course a violent games must have encouraged their kid to kill 50 people. Because it can’t be the parents not seeing signs of illness. And it can’t really be anything wrong with the kid, the game must be at blame. People don’t like to take blame for horrible things.

      There will be more mass murderers and mass shooters. But it sure as hell won’t be the games fault. Because in the end, no matter how loving and attentive a parent is, if there is something wrong with your kid they might not be able to be saved.

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  6. I’m really happy to see a post from you, I’m kind of miss not having you around, it’s just sad that your post need to be about some parent who can’t to their job the basic thing like what is wrong and what is right.
    There is a reason why GTA is rated M, there is a reason why those kind of game are on the top shelf, people should stop blaming video game when their kid do something stupid and think about who is really in the wrong…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey! I have missed you too. I needed this break but I think I am back now. Hopefully.

      I agree on people should not blaming games. I don’t know if these parents do it though. I don’t know what their family situation looks like, how this boy has consumed the game. He might have seen videos on YouTube for all we know. There are loads of them unfortunately on not everyone are marked mature because then you can’t monetize on it so people rather not age restrict their game videos. So as a parent it isn’t easy to monitor everything the kids see on YouTube even if you try. But they might as well have just placed the kid infront of the tv with a video control in his hands and left him to his own device and this is what came of it. Something isn’t right no matter where it went wrong. No normal kid would act that way, no matter what game they played. My kids have played GTA since they were 8 (with our guidance) and they know better than to make up games where you hit someone unconscious.

      I understand, even though I don’t agree, why people blame games for when horrible things happen. When tragedies you don’t understand happens you want, and need, an explanation and if you can find that [fake] explanation in a violent video game then that is that last straw you grasp. It is very simple really. That’s the brains work. We need explanations for the things we don’t understand. Just like the girls in the 90s who commited suicide while listening to Marilyn Manson. Of course their parents wanted to connect the music to their daughters death. Because, how could there be something else wrong, they hadn’t seen how bad she really was. It had to be the music’s fault because he sang about horrible things. I don’t know, people are very hard to admit that they might have something to do with when something happen. They rather blame someone else that look to themselves. And then there’s the guilt of not have been attentive enough to understand that something was/is wrong with their kid. You have no idea how many parents acts like their kid is an angel who would never do bad things. “No, it’s not my kid. It has to be your kid starting all these fights. He’s the bad one. Not my.” So, no wonder kids react and parents find it comfortable to blame the videogames or the violence on the tv or the bad lyrics in the rap music or whatever else they can come up with.

      Ok, this was a long comment. Had to get it out. In short, I agree. People should stop blaming others and look to themselves instead. Be it if the kid got the idea if he played the game himself or if he watched gameplay on yt or just his bigbro play at home. (although, I actually think that the gamers on yt have a responsibility to age restrict the videos where they play rated M games)

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  7. Adults blames video games for problems their kid(s) caused and that is really bothering me. The parent or adults should take responsibility for their children’s action, but the parents just pushed the blame to video games.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think some parents many times rather close their eyes to what their kids are up to and when they are called out they prefer to blame someone/something else than look inwards and scrutinize their own actions. I don’t think it is that many parents though. I am not sure it is a big problem, I rarely hear anyone blame games for what their kids do. In this case I talk about they don’t blame the game per se but it is an explanation to where this kid got the idea. To me that is not to blame the game. It’s the same as when I was a kid and we played Star Wars or V in the school yard. We saw and we acted out. That boy might not even play the game, he might have seen videos of it on youTube.

      I still think that it shouldn’t bother anyone to be honest. There will always be an outlash at pop culture in some way. Games are no exception. 20 or even 30 years ago it was board games. 15 years ago it was Harry Potter. People, not only parents, will always find something to blame when bad things happen.

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