So, I have had a shitty day. Last night I woke up with the cough from hell. I literally puked, that’s how much I coughed. After an hour I couldn’t stay in bed any longer (that was also when I had to run to the bathroom and rendez-vouz with the gods of the white bowl). I made myself some hot water with honey and lemon juice and decked out in the sofa instead. If my memory doesn’t completely have given up on me I think I watched the first episode of Blend S. There was some creepy manager and a creepy, sadistic girl and some other girls and another guy. Or something. Hey, my brain had more or less lost half of it’s braincells after that horrible cough attacks.
I have a friend. She is somewhat of a hippie type. The nurturing, caring, worrying kind of hippie who is convinced of a whole lot of strange things. At one point she stoped using plastic trays because of some shit she heard. She stoped using schampoo and started to wash her hair with bicarbonate instead. She also used it as a deodorant because regular deodorant apparently is dangerous. Anyway, I love her to bits and she is good to have at times like this because she is filled with all sorts of wisdom only the ancient witches and everyone who is a pagan knows. So she resolutely told me: “Lina, what you need is to chop an onion in big pieces and then boil some water and pour over it. Put it under your bed and the go lay down on top of it.” I probably looked like a stupid sheep because she chuckled when she continued: “Obviously not on top of the bowl. Silly girl. On top of the bed. Jeez, what kind of girlfriend do I have.” In the background her husband shouted something at her. Something about a threesome if I was her girlfriend. I don’t know, my brain was crackling and my stomach had a soreness.
I obeyed my fluffy girlfriend and went to bed with my onion in a bowl of boiling water, closed the door and the window and laid down to sleep again. I have no idea if that shit actually had anything to do with it or if it was just playing tricks with my mind but I actually didn’t cough more that night. I did smell like a fucking onion the day after but rather that then puking my lungs out.
This wasn’t at all what I was gonna talk about though. This whole ordeal gave me a rather heavy anxiety. I do suffer from anxiety from time to time and the night before I woke up from heavy chest pains. Probably a panic attack but sometimes I have a hard time knowing if it is or if I am actually having a real heart attack. Anyway, that’s the MO of a panic attack I guess. So, that together with last nights ordeal has put me in a constant state of anxiety today. I have had my ways of coping before. Less fortunate way, like hurting myself or overeating. I am not saying this is a good way either but at least there is a positive outcome to it, as long as I can afford it. What you wonder? I bought myself some new manga today. It always feels nice to click that buy button and see the transaction go through. I did it right before bedtime too so maybe I can get a good nights rest tonight without anxiety and nightmares, and sudden wake ups with chest pains killing me.